The Huffington Post looked for suckers in a target-rich environment; Lindsay Robertson offered a shocking new David Paterson rumor; and Lindsay Lohan is frightened by Google. The Twitterati hated the players and the game.

Lindsay Lohan tried to imagine a world in which she had no privacy, in which her every move was digitally recorded and transmitted to strangers, and in which everyone else knew she hadn't read the news since 2006. So scary.

The Huffington Post's tech editor wondered whether MacWorld Expo has attracted any technology bloggers eager to sacrifice their own time and money to help enrich an abusive, authoritarian leader who holds them in disdain. Not sure where he's going to find someone like that at an Apple event (*cough*).

New York's Lindsay Robertson decided to have fun with the "David Paterson innuendo" newsmeme. Now somebody just has to tie Furry David Paterson to the sheep-demon ad.

Pro tip for Perez Hilton: Try and find a ghostwriter who has some knowledge of celebrity gossip, and a working memory of some portions of the year 2008. Or maybe write your own tweets? LOL, kidding, LOVEYOUxoxox.

New York Times writer Brian Stelter thinks this might be a parody of "the NYT Coffee Guy" rather than the real thing. We think it might be a sporadic but comforting reminder that there is still some nice things about being a Times writer.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Somebody help this poor girl!!

It's getting to the point where we can't even crack jokes - Lindsanity, get out before it's too late.

Lindsay Lohan and SaMANtha Ronson are trapped in a nightmarish, ugly on/off relationship that is reportedly becoming abusive.

A source claims,

“One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head. She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her. She also said that Sam even punched and choked her one time. It’s so twisted. They’re not together, but they are. I never thought I’d ever say this, but I really do feel sorry for Lindsay. She is just lost. She’s alone. She has no friends to turn to.”

The two, who have been photographed together recently, are also living in the same West Hollywood building and Samantha, who has a key, regularly lets herself into Lohan's apartment.

Lindsay, if there is any truth to this, here is some honest, serious advice: Whatever you think the two of you had or have, it has turned into something very bad and very toxic, and you two need to get out of each other's lives for a long time if you're ever going to see things rationally again. The best thing you can do sometimes is know when something has run its course and let it go. Even you deserve better.

So sad.

[Image via WENN.]

LINDSAY Lohan was allegedly beaten up by on/off girlfriend Samantha Ronson. The Mean Girls actress — who has a turbulent relationship with the DJ — reportedly told a pal how the romance had, at times, been very violent, with Lindsay having the scars to prove it. “One time I saw Lindsay and she had a large welt [...]

Secret celebrity hoarder!

Check out the second installment of La Loca LOLhan's 3-part interview with The Insider (above)!

LINDSAY Lohan says Kate Moss is helping her get her career back on track. The Mean Girls actress, like the British supermodel, has had her fair share of drug-related ups and downs over the post few years — but she is now on the mend thanks to 35-year-old Kate. “I ask her a lot of things,” says [...]

It was only a matter of time before the Father of the Year opened his big mouth!

Michael Lohan believes that daughter Lindsay Lohan is hoarding because she feels abandoned — and he even admits to hoarding himself!

"I hoard," says Michael. “I have clothes from the ’80s and people will say to me what are you doing with that sweater? I collect watches … I collect cowboy boots. I think everyone hoards in some way.” He continues:

"You can look at this from a psychological perspective and secondly from a human perspective. People that hoard don’t want to let go of things. They feel like they are abandoned. “I think she was sucked into it [being on The Insider].

"I don’t care what people say — my relationship may be a little strained at times but it’s because I don’t want her doing certain things. You’re not ever going to see me drinking in a club with my daughter. No one knows all the constant texts she sends me. Whenever she needs me I’m the first person she calls."

We hardly believe that, especially after he released those tapes of their private conversations proving he's quite possibly one of the worst fathers in the world!

Michael thinks the divorce between him and ex-wife Dina Lohan has caused Lindsanity to spiral out of control saying, "The divorce destroyed the children. Lindsay has a court appearance on Feb. 18 and I'm definitely going to bring all of this to the attention of the judge."

We don't doubt that for a second — Michael is infamous for yammering on about anything Lindsay-related just to get his name in the press!

Shut UP already!

[Image via WENN.]

LINDSAY Lohan is selling off her possessions for charity. The Mean Girls actress is gutting her home to help her “move forward” emotionally and will sell off the unwanted items to raise funds for good causes. “Lindsay’s growing up and she’s been through a lot. She’s trying to move forward,” said Lindsay’s mom, Dina. “We’re donating a lot [...]

Dina Lohan has nothing to do but comment on her daughter's mess - literally!

On Lindsanity's interview with The Insider, the former actress mentioned that her home is packed with hundreds of pairs of shoes, racks of designer clothes and more bags than she can even keep track off. She's even claiming to be a hoarder!

Well, unless there's a dead animal of feces lying around, you ain't no hoarder! You're just a dumb, spoiled bitch!

"The biggest problem is that I have a lot of stuff," said LiLo. "I finally have most of it in one place."

Her house is relatively new, but the clutter has been around for "a long time – too long."

"This is my home," she continued. "I just want to be much more serene in here and clear."

And Orange Oprah thinks a clean house is just what she needs for her daughter get her life together!

"She's growing up and she's been through a lot," said Dina. "She’s trying to move forward."

Her mom believes that it's because of her busy schedule (i.e. abusing prescription drugs executive producing a TV talk show) that she has not had time to go through her shit!

"My father used to say a disheveled room leads to a disheveled mind," the enabler continued. "We're donating a lot of it to charity. Some of it will go on our Web site lohanhouse.com."

Because, ya know, it's never Lindsay's fault!

"It's not just stuff that she bought," says Dina. "A lot if it is gifted so it's not necessarily stuff she buys. Like, a company will send five pairs of jeans. So we're going to donate items like that."

Oh, boo-fucking-hoo! We're crying for your abundance of luxury that you're too effed to deal with!

"I hope everything is in its place then I will be able to breathe," Lindsay divulged.

Riiiiight.

[Image via WENN.]

Things got pretty heated on Wednesday night!

SaMAN Ronson was DJing at Crown Bar in El Lay when who else but Lindsay Lohan waltzed in to stir up some trouble! An eyewitness explains:

"Lindsay was drinking straight out of a bottle of vodka and I saw her take an orange prescription bottle out of her bag and pop a couple of pills that she said were Adderal, she even offered some of the pills to a friend that was with her.

"Lindsay was trying to get Sam's attention, but she was working and studiously ignored Lindsay. You could see Lindsay getting more and more worked up the more Sam didn't pay her any attention. At one point Lindsay was dirty dancing with this really pretty girl right in front of Sam, obviously to try and make her jealous."

Popping pills and boozing? That's our La Loca!

SaMAN was sick of the sight of her and started teasing her about being drunk saying to LiLo, "Why don't you have another drink?" and "You're a disgrace!"

Ouch! The eyewitness continues:

"That made Lindsay just totally flip out on Sam. She picked up a drink and threw it straight in her face! Sam was absolutely furious and picked up some DJ equipment that was by her and threw that at Lindsay. It was crazy!"

Lindsay's friends supposedly managed to take her away from the situation and SaMAN was so upset that instead of doing a live set she played a tape instead which pissed off the management who asked her to step down from the DJ booth.

A furious Ronson took her audio cables and left the club unable to play any music for the rest of the night! She was spotted later that night at H.Wood throwing a "diva fit!"

Juicy!

We think Lindsay needs to give up on this SaMAN reunion — it reeks of desperation! But then again, so does LiLo!

[Image via Flashpoint / WENN.]

In case you missed it….

Watch part 1 of La Loca's chat with The Insider (above).

Amazing amazing hot messness!!!!!!

Part 2 of Lindsanity's chat airs this evening!