Laugh away at this shithead. He deserves it.

The man above is 21 year old Matthew Clemmens of Cherry Hill, NJ.

If you recall, we reported on a few months ago because the sick asshole purposely stuck his finger down his throat so he would vomit on an off-duty police officer and his 11 year old daughter at a Philadelphia Phillies game last April!

He now has plead guilty to assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct, and has been sentenced to 1-3 months in prison, two years on probation, and 50 hours of community service.

Absolutely deplorable! He deserves everything he got!

Good news for Al Gore!

He's been cleared of all sexual assault charges in the case against Portland massage therapist Molly Hagerty.

The Portland Police and Multnomah County District Attorney announced Friday that "they have recommended…that there be no criminal prosecution" due to the fact that Hagerty failed to provide records related to the case, failed a polygraph test, and all forensic tests of pants kept by Hagerty as evidence were tested negative. And the fact that she was paid by the National Enquirer to tell her story didn't help either.

It was even discovered in a document that the massage therapist had called Gore immediately after the alleged incident and "told him to 'dream of a redheaded woman,' " which would contradict her story that she was fearful of him.

Al Gore has "emphatically denied this accusation when he first learned of its existence three years ago" and in a statement, he wrote that he "respects and appreciates the thorough and professional work of the Portland authorities and is pleased that this matter has now been resolved."

Guess he isn't quite the "crazy sex poodle"!

[Image via C.M. Wiggins / WENN.]

We didn't see this coming!

Oksana Grigorieva is supposedly in secret negotiations to appear on the next season of Dancing With The Stars!

But talks might have come to a halt since her publicist of two days Howard Bragman quit and he was the one negotiating the deal!

An insider close to the deal says:

“Oksana has left on the table a potential appearance on Dancing With The Stars. It would have given her a lot of money, not violated the gag order and promoted her as a talented musician, all while softening her public image in front of more than 40 million viewers each week.

“It was lined up for her, with good pay. It was big bucks compared to nothing.”

Now there's a solid PR move — but it might not materialize now with Bragman out.

Do U want to see Oksana on DWTS?

[Image via WENN.]

Oooh, you in trouble now, gurl!

The producer suing Casey Affleck for sexual harassment is now being accused of withholding "key production documents" so that she can negotiate a higher salary for her work on I'm Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix.

Affleck's attorney Marty Singer says that producer Amanda White claims that she refused to hand over important production documents until her contract was finalized.

In an email that Singer calls "extortionate," White told Affleck, "I really feel that in good faith, the documents you refer to are my work product, so I would prefer to hold them in trust until we can get the matter of my deal resolved."

The producer reportedly left the production in April 2009, over a year before mentioning the sexual harassment claims.

"It seems odd that it took 15 months for them to bring this up, and it only happened after negotiations on her compensation stalled," said one source.

Hmm, the whole thing sounds very strange…

[Image via Drew Altizer / WENN.]

When Michael Lohan wakes up in the morning, he takes a sip of haterade, then pulls the lever on his See 'n Say to find out who he should harp on that day for attention.

This morning, the lucky bastards are his daughter's doctors!

Papa Lohan has his lawyer, Lisa Bloom, looking into an investigation of Lindsay Lohan's doctors. Michael believes that the Attorney General of California should make the time to look into the "unscrupulous doctors" who allegeldy "overprescribe medications to [Lindsay]."

Michael still stands by his claims that Lindsay is an addict, one who continues to get legally high on pills through a "giant legal loophole." And just to make things that more interesting, Michael cites Anna Nicole Smith's case and urges the Attorney General to give him LiLo that same amount of attention.

[Image via WENN.]

Looks like the Game Show Network pissed her off!

Carnie Wilson is suing GSN for $277,500 in additional pay for work she did on her series Unstapled.

According to the lawsuit, Carnie was to receive $120,000 for 24 days of work totaling in six weeks of episodes, but the show ended up taking 53 days with even more hours per day. The complaint reads:

"Accordingly, at the rate of $5,000 per day, which is the daily rate of said contract, Defendant GSN owes to (Wilson) the additional amount of $277,500 with legal interest thereon from the final day of shooting."

But a GSN spokesperson said, "We are not aware of any lawsuit by Carnie Wilson against GSN."

We wonder if her recent termination from The Newlywed Game has anything to do with this?

[Image via WENN.]

That seems, um, wrong!

Sources report that Mel Gibson has written a check out to his ex-GF's legal team for $250,000! What's more, we hear Mel has also finally delved into his pockets to cought up the money he owed Oksana Grigorieva for child support, despite the explosive scandal they find themselves in.

So what gives???

Well, as to why Mel is paying for Oksana's representation, we've learned that in civil battles like this one, the court can rile in favor of the opposing party being liable for all attorney fees.

As to why Mel has finally paid his fair share of child support, we're going with an enraged publicist who is desperate to get show Mel has some decency.

Mission not accomplished. We're just happy to be seeing this jerk pay for what he's done again and again and again!

[Image via WENN.]

After all he's allegedly put other women through, and he still has stalkers?

BLECK.

Steven Seagal has filed a temporary restraining order against a Angela Rain Bates, a 55 year old woman who came onto his property, attacked a groundskeeper and threw his windows!

According to police reports, which describe Bates as a "delusional stalker," she claimed to be married to Seagal's deceased father and that she had lived on the property for 20 years! When the groundskeeper tried to stop her, she "forcefully kick[ed] him twice, in the groin, and on his shin, causing a two-inch contusion on his leg."

GEESH!

She's been charged with battery, trespassing, and vandalism, and must stay 100 yards away from Seagal, his family and staff.

What an effing nutcase! Lock that looney up!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

Yikes!

Former Grey's Anatomy star Isaiah Washington is being sued by City National Bank for not paying back a loan he took out in 2008.

Washington and his wife allegedly didn't pay back the $100,030 loan the took out — even with a mere 1.5 percent interest rate and NO collateral!

The bank wants the cash plus interest and penalties.

Does Isaiah have that kind of money anymore? Or even a job?

[Image via WENN.]

Well, unfortunately for the rest of us, she won't have to deal with it much longer!

Star Magazine is reporting that Lindsay Lohan has quite a few demands in jail!

A released inmate revealed:

"The other day Lindsay was freaking out because she wanted another blanket. She kept yelling out, 'Hello! I asked for a blanket like two hours ago! I'm getting sick!' It went on for hours."

A visitor to the jail also experienced La Loca's diva demands, saying:

"My sister told me that Lindsay was complaining about not having any bottled water to drink, and saying that unpurified water makes her sick. But this isn't some fancy hotel. If inmates want water, they drink good old Los Angeles tap water.

"Then she was demanding someone bring her a fan. She said she was going to pass out. Of course she didn't get it — or the water."

LOLs!

You're not at the Chateau Marmont, Linds!

What are you thinking?