Italian-American stereotype found next to Italian American Museum.

Gigi Jordan, a multi-million pharmaceutical executive, was found in her $2,300/night suite "babbling incoherently" after trying to commit suicide, while her eight year-old son lay dead next to her. She's being charged with feeding him an overdose of pills.

This story is, quite simply, one of the more insane, convoluted ones to come around in a while, especially with the conflicting nature of reports on Jordan. In just trying to suss out all the reports, it goes something like this:

• Gigi Jordan, a native Belgian, was the president of several New York-based pharmaceutical companies that manufactured drugs to treat cancer. None of the reports can seem to name the companies, though. After making her money in pharmaceuticals, Jordan got into the real estate game, making her fortune there. A New York Post source estimates Jordan's value to be "about $100M."
  
  
• In 2001, Jordan married Emil Valention Tzekov six days after divorcing the man she used to be married to, the pharmaceutical exec she made her fortune with, Raymond Mirra. Jordan gave birth to her son, Jude Michael, on July 13, 2001. It'd appear that the father of the son was Tzekov, who told the Daily News "That's my son...I don't know if I can talk about this."
  
  
• Tzekov's neighbors describe Jude Michael as "autistic" to the Daily News.
  
  
• Tzekov and Jordan got divorced in 2006.
  
  
• Tzekov told the Daily News he hadn't seen Jordan or his son in a year.
  
  
• On Wednesday, Jordan checked into Room 1603 at The Peninsula Hotel.
  
  
• According to hotel staffers, she hangs a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door, paid the bill in cash, ordered lots of room service, and "didn't leave the room for two days."
  
  
• According to the New York Post, Jordan's aunt received an email from her threatening suicide and the murder of Jude. The aunt then contacted the 20th Precinct, faxing them the emails. The 20th moved into action, and figured Jordan was at The Peninsula.
  
  
• On showing up, police found the Do Not Disturb sign, and that Jordan had barricaded the door with either a couch or several chairs. On bursting down the door, they found Jordan lying on floor, foaming at the mouth and "babbling incoherently." Her son, who'd been dead for what's being estimated to be a day by police, was on the bed. Authorities believe Gigi Jordan fed Jude a lethal combination of Xanax and Ambien. Ambien's been known to have a harsh side-effect of suicidal thoughts in some patients.
  
  
• Sources noted to the Post that the room was littered with pill bottles and "thousands" of pills, along with "scattered documents — including a suicide note penned by Jordan."
  
  
• In the suicide note, she wrote that her son Jude was in "constant pain" and that she'd hoped "Jude [was in] a better place." She also "mentioned speaking with a Wyoming child porn investigator about the sexual abuse of kids," and cited the assistance of an ex-FBI agent. In an already bizarre and tragic case, this part sticks out:

  Ex-FBI agent Flint Waters "told me many rich people are involved," Jordan wrote. "Many wealthy guys trade child porn like a hobby." Waters did not return a call Friday night.

  
  

• The Daily News also reports that Jordan wrote that she donated $20M to Haiti relief efforts before attempting suicide, putting $12M to Doctors Without Borders and $8M to the Red Cross, noting that the other $7M in her estate would "be used for some better purpose in society." Besides either organization now showing any record (though the News notes that this could be because she mailed the checks on Wednesday), this also conflicts with the New York Post's sourced $100M valuation of her estate.
  
  
• On the website of a "Fertility guru":

  Jordan had said having her child has "helped awaken a spiritual connection to God." "In learning how to release my fear of losing something I really wanted and to allow myself to believe I would have it," she wrote, "I gave birth to a beautiful boy, and experienced a greater depth of love and connectedness with my child."

  
  

• Jordan's currently in the hospital right now, and she's going to be charged with the murder of her son. She's been cooperating with authorities, and gave them the password to her computer.

Now, just questions:

How did Gigi Jordan amass her fortune, and were these problems present before?
Why'd she check into The Peninsula?
How did nobody in Jordan's life see this coming?
And most importantly, what part of Jordan's past as a pharmaceutical executive will be tied to her current state as an incoherent, filicidal new-ager? Because something will be.

If you know anything, we're listening.

Mom Gigi Jordan charged with murdering son after botched murder-suicide try at Peninsula hotel [NYDN]
Gigi Jordan feeds son, 8, fatal dose of pills, leaves strange 2-page note in botched murder-suicide [NYDN]
Rich ma 'kills' kid in slay-suicide bid [NYP]

Last night Hollywood's disgraceful frat boy older brother Charlie Sheen called the cops to say his Mercedes was stolen. At the same time, it's On-Star device called the po-po to say the car was wrecked. Only we know what happened.

It was found at the bottom of a cliff near his house in Sherman Oaks. No one was in the car and there was no evidence of anyone in the area nearby. Police are investigating, but it appears to be a mystery. In a Gawker exclusive, we have an inside source who has identified the person who stole the car. It was Toonces, the cat who can drive a car! We have notified local authorities and arrests are expected at any moment.

[Image via Getty]

Nick Snider was charged with "offering sexual favors to Arkansas cops" after being arrested on a drunk-and-disorderly call, allegedly saying, "I'll suck your dick and balls if you let me go." Deliverance was in Georgia, Nick. PS, nice shirt. [TheSmokingGun.com]

"The conservative online news entrepreneur Andrew Breitbart is, for the moment, doing little to dispel stereotypes about bloggers." Now why does that sentence end with the word "bloggers" and not "conservative assholes with persecution complexes"?

Oh, because this is Liberal NPR, and they are concerned with that old "objectivity" thing, which in this case means "not calling a bullshit artist a bullshit artist."

Breitbart, it may surprise you to learn, continues to not understand that his li'l protege James O'Keefe should not actually be subject to special treatment because he is not brown.

"MSNBC and The Washington Post, you know, go nuts trying to grant terrorists at a time of war all of the rights under the world, while James O'Keefe gets arrested ... and they're already framing him,"

Oh, Andrew. First of all, MSNBC and The Washington Post are not actually in charge of the Justice Department or the Louisiana police. If you are concerned that, as you claim, your friend was held without access to a lawyer for 28 hours, you should perhaps blame not socialist Attorney General Eric Holder, but rather structural problems with the goddamn criminal justice system. If you don't like the way the media presumed the guilt of your little sidekick, maybe you should blame the Law and Order Conservatives who've inculcated in the mass media a worshipful reverence for word of the police and an inherent distrust of slimy defense attorneys and other advocates for filthy criminals.

Anyway! In case you were wondering, Andrew Breitbart still hates the MSM that continues to give him so much publicity for his pet projects.

"It's now just a matter of timing" before Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's infamous doctor and alleged pill-pusher, is charged with involuntary manslaughter, reports TMZ. The crime is a felony and carries a maximum prison sentence of four years. Dr. Murray is reportedly planning to surrender himself to Los Angeles authorities today. [TMZ]

Hours after Stephen Garcia and his 9-month-old son's bodies were discovered on a San Bernardino hiking trail, dead from an apparent murder-suicide, his Facebook profile announced activity: Stephen Garcia had uploaded a suicide note and video tribute to his family.

Police are now puzzling over reams of obsessive, threatening internet content and searching for the person who broadcast Stephen's dying status updates. Tracing Stephen's footsteps now, the self-portrait of an abuser emerges.

The Associated Press reports that 25-year-old Stephen Garcia threatened murder-suicide during a court-ordered visit with son Wyatt mere days before going through with the act; their bodies were found early Sunday. Eight hours later, a third person posted a suicide note and photo tribute to Garcia's Facebook account. AP continues:

The memorial features a photo of Garcia and his son sleeping peacefully on a Mickey Mouse pillow, with the dates of their births and joint death overlaid in white cursive script.

A message at the bottom reads, in part, "There! Now we're sleeping with you ... Find it in your heart to forgive me. It's my job to protect him. I know God will welcome our son with open arms."

Wyatt's mother Katie requested a restraining order against Stephen in December, but was rejected on Jan. 12 because there was no "threat to petitioner or the minor child." But in the weeks leading up to his death, Stephen documented his prolific, threatening, and obsessive attempts to win Katie back on Facebook and a website seemingly erected specifically for antagonizing Katie, Detrimentalind.com, where he scoffed at the failed restraining order:

I will do what I must. Drag me to court. Get your stupid "restraining orders" pifft, can't stop love.

Though Stephen's suicide note wasn't unlocked on the Facebook profile I found—at vanity URL facebook.com/ StephenKatieWyatt—the profile picture appears to be the same sleeping portrait Stephen edited for his farewell. Of the five publicly available videos this account uploaded, three are of baby "WyWy" and two are photo montages: One dedicated to "Wyatt James Arthur Garcia!! 04-04-2009" and one for "Our Family," featuring mostly photos of Katie. Music choice in the former includes the retrospectively ominous "If You Don't Love Me By Now."

"Our Family" depicts Stephen and Katie snowboarding, playing beer pong, and lying in bed with Wyatt. (It will also give you a visceral disgust for all songs by the Postal Service.) I'm pretty sure there are two babies in this; the first one, with dark hair, doesn't look like Wyatt, does he?

On his website, Stephen he painstakingly archived reams of text messages, "love" letters, and curse-word strewn rants. The message at the top of the page seems to acknowledge the coming suicide:

A part of me wants to post every text, letter, recording, myspace screenshot, facebook screenshot of what Katie did to me and our son but I will not.  Its not my goal to destroy Katie or make her mad.  At first I wanted to so bad for what she did to us but now all I have left for her is love.

(to whoever it may concern: Everything is on my computer.)

In a letter to Katie, he apologizes for abuse (emphasis mine):

I'm sorry for cheating on you. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for hitting you. I'm sorry I made the wrong choices. I'm sorry I didn't fight for you. I'm sorry I let you walk out. [...] I'm sorry I said bad things about you when I got angry. Most of all I am sorry for not being sorry sooner. Katie it's not too late.

He describes his mission to win Katie back as life-or-death and blames her for "necessary evil":

I am crazy, crazy in love, YOU did this to me. YOU. I'm not psycho, I'm not obsessive, I'm not a stalker (necessary evil, I NEEDED TO KNOW THE TRUTH) [...] I am a human being and now I have my blood in a 9 month old life. My heart and mind can only take so much as a living breathing person, Katie. How much do you want / need to keep killing me?

Though Stephen swears "IM. NOT. GOING. TO. HURT. YOU. OR. WYATT," at one point he imagines his and Wyatt's deaths as the consequence for breaking a pledge:

I SWEAR on Wyatt JAMES Arthur Garcia's LIFE, his FUCKING soul, HIS WELL BEING. May he become ill and DIE. I SWEAR on my LIFE, SOUL, WELL BEING, may I DIE, NEVER be joined with my son in heaven, BURN forever in HELL and never EVER hold my BEAUTIFUL baby again. I SWEAR on all my family and friends lives. I SWEAR on YOUR life Katie. I SWEAR on my fucking LOVE for you, BABE.

Garcia's deeply disturbing website and Facebook profile are both still up. Still unknown: Whether authorities were contacted about Stephen's more recent threats; Katie's status; why Stephen was with Wyatt on the day of their deaths; how the hell this man was allowed within a 100-mile radius of his son. [AP] [Facebook] [Detrimentalind]

Update: Katie's family says the tragedy was avoidable, details from court proceedings denying the restraining order, and quotes from a Choose Your Own Adventure-style short story Stephen wrote depicting murder-suicide as punishment for Katie refusing his advances. [Hi-Desert Star]

Condé Nast set up a hotline for ratting out coworkers who release secrets, take "unauthorized discounts" or just straight steal from the company. That sort of highway robbery is permissible only between a top editor and a consenting Si Newhouse.

A man was murdered by a rapper—from Sweden! Insert coded racist statement here.

The Way We Live Now: Like a smooth criminal. Well, "smooth" is not quite the right word. Desperate? Yes. And occasionally inept. There are no banks left to rob. There's no bull market left to milk!

Things happen in chain reactions. It's just as clear as five dominos falling down one after another, until the last one falls onto your head and takes your money. In some parts of New York City, for chrissake, there aren't even any banks in a neighborhood. Why do we tell you this? Because bank heists in New York City fell by half last year, despite the obvious fact of bank robbers needing money more than ever.

Sure, banks will tell you that it was their protective plexiglass barriers, or the inherent good nature of man. But to the scientific eye, it's an easy matter to follow the tumbling dominoes from fewer bank branches to fewer bank robberies. Then, friends, why not continue? We come upon this alarming piece of news: Heists of cargo trucks increased by 67%(!!!) last year. The trucking industry is terrorized.

Follow the logical progression. The economy collapses. People don't have any money to put into banks. Therefore, bank branches close. Whereupon, there are fewer banks to rob, and bank robberies decrease. Forsooth, those very same bank robbers expand their explorations to America's highways, by necessity. Ergo, truckers are terrified of getting jacked.

But what, pray tell, is the final piece of this economic puzzle that would do the bastard child of Sherlock Holmes and Adam Smith proud? Bingo: The US deficit this year will be $1.6 trillion. The bull market is running out of bull. Where did it go? It was in those stolen trucks.

Recessiononomics is easy.

[Pic: Faithmouse]